Thirty-five days. Five weeks.
The countdown is on before we
leave for France to climb Mont Blanc. It may seem like a long time but considering
I’ve been planning this for the past 2 years, it’s not long to go at all. Our
place with the guide company was booked a year ago since they fill up a year ahead
and we had a small window to time it during Miguel’s July school holidays.
Our flights to France and the rest of our accommodation are
now also booked, so our final itinerary involves visiting the following places:
- · Paris, France – recover from the long trip from Oz and get over jetlag
- · Chamonix, France – base for the Mont Blanc climb
- · Milan, Italy
- · Dolomites, Italy – more hiking if we aren’t too broken
- · Tokyo, Japan - climb Mount Fuji? 😊
But first let’s take a step back…
Mont Blanc was a personal goal. I planned to climb it on my own – with a guide of
course. John made it clear from the beginning that he
was not interested. And while I’ve ‘forced’ him to go along with some crazy
things he wasn’t too keen on (From Heels to Hiking boots), I would never ask
or expect him to do this. It’s too big a commitment. Too big a challenge for
someone who is not 120% into it. The fitness, the mental stamina, the risk, the
fear, the self-doubt, and the sheer willpower that will be needed is not for the half-hearted… or unfit. We were already unfit so there was no
room for half-hearted. So, he needed his own WHY for doing it - his reason for
training, doing what needed to be done, and staying the course when things got
tough – and that is something that’s deeply personal.
Well, he must have found his WHY because he’s now joining
me and we’ll be climbing together as a team – with a guide. I’m not quite sure what his WHY is. He hasn’t articulated it to me. What I do know is
that if I’m lucky enough to get to the top of that mountain, there’s no one else
I’d rather have standing next to me.
Speaking of WHY…. this is a question I’ve been asked a lot
since making my goal known. Something I’ve skirted around and just answered
with a smile or a shrug, not because I didn’t know the answer, but because I
wasn’t ready to share it.
So WHY have I decided to climb Mont Blanc?
Following our move out of Sydney into the country during COVID
in January 2021, I was getting restless. I needed a new goal. Something to work
towards. We had already achieved all the big goals we set for ourselves
previously. What next? I was at a loss. Essentially, I wanted something that
was way out of my/our comfort zone. Run a marathon? Nah. Walk the Camino? Nah.
Multi-day hiking? Nah. Climb a mountain? Hmmm…. I loved being in the mountains
and we had surprised ourselves with the long Trolltunga hike that was physically
challenging yet so rewarding, so climbing a mountain seemed like a logical next
step challenge, right?
Beyond that, and this is where it gets deeply personal, I
needed to prove to myself that I could do it. Whatever IT was. That I could do
something I had previously told myself I couldn’t. I needed to prove to myself
that I was capable of doing anything if I was willing to commit to it and do
the work. After all, this is what I’ve always ingrained in the kids –
especially the girls. One of my often-repeated lines to them being ‘I don’t
want to hear I can’t’ – whether it was learning to tie their shoe lace or doing
a backflip. It was time to put my money where my mouth was.
We visited Mont Blanc as part of our 2018 trip and managed
to make it up Aiguille du Midi on a beautiful clear day. Sitting at 3,800m, the
view was breathtaking and Mont Blanc, the highest peak in Western Europe at
4,800m, seemed just a stone’s throw away. I watched in awe as people walked out
onto the snow with ropes and harnesses, wishing I knew how but not even once considering
that one day that could be me – or us. It was so far beyond the realm of
possibility… until now.
Growing up, particularly as a teenager, I was exposed to a
lot of ‘you can’t’. You can’t do this. You can’t do that. I was pretty stubborn
back then (still am) so I would always challenge this with ‘why not?!’. The
answers, while varied and sometimes long-winded, would essentially fall into
one of two categories: a) Because you’re a girl; b) Because you’re too young. Or
I would get the occasional backhanded compliment - ‘that’s pretty good – for a
girl’. It would drive me insane. I was quickly learning that being ‘a girl’ seemed
to be a handicap.
I have 2 older brothers so the double standard infuriated
me. As a young child, I did everything they did. I was a little tomboy hanging
out with them and our other male friends doing ‘boy things’ – like riding our
bikes, playing rugby, roughhousing around the pool, playing with tadpoles in
the pond (gross), and climbing things we probably shouldn’t have. However, on
one occasion I remember my Mom asking 7-year old me why I didn’t hang out with
the girls more often – inside, playing with dolls – the way girls should. ‘Because
that’s so boring!’ I scoffed, remembering the feeling of being annoyed at the
suggestion.
Inevitably, as I got older ‘you can’t’ turned into ‘I can’t’…
then Imposter Syndrome kicked in. So, one step at a time, one goal at a time,
one adventure at a time, I’m slowly learning to turn this into ‘Yes, I can.
Watch me.’
Fast forward 35+ years, I’m still a girl – now a woman (no
gender change there) - and mountaineering, especially high-altitude mountaineering,
is a male-dominated space. While there’s been a push in recent years to get
more females into it, it’s still very male dominated. So, this takes me right
back to my roots proving to myself that I CAN do it – EVEN IF I’m ‘a girl’.
I’m also not too young to climb a mountain this time. In fact, it’s
the total opposite. Particularly for a newcomber who has never spent any significant
time at high altitude except for on a plane! We’re no spring chickens so age –
more so our physical fitness and health at our age - are critical factors. But,
we’re younger now than we will be in 5 years so better now than 5 years later. Incidentally,
this climb was originally intended for 2027, once Miguel graduated High School,
but we brought it forward because every year we get older decreases our chance of success. So, this time, here I am trying to prove to myself that age doesn’t
have to be a barrier and I can do it – EVEN IF I’m over 50.
So, in short, I’m climbing Mont Blanc to prove to myself
that I can. That I have what it takes. That I am good enough. That being ‘a
girl’ isn’t a handicap. That age doesn’t have to be a barrier. But more
importantly, it’s to set the example for our kids to never buy into the idea of
‘I can’t’, and for our own daughters - Kat & Bea - so they can go through life never having to
feel that being 'a girl' is a handicap.
No one is guaranteed success when dealing with Mother
Nature. Anything can happen up in the mountains. All I know is that as we take
on this latest challenge, our WHYs will be the fuel to keep us going.
